Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Turn the waters around

Can I trust you for a while
Cause I've been falling out of my hand lately
You couldn't keep pretending you were me
So you were pretending to be the closest of mine

Now you're tidying up the cabinets for me
And I'm waiting for my rise or your rise
You took so much sailing like a boat on my holy waters
So I learned to wake up just a little bit earlier

I own a clock for every time you're showing me the wrong way
I own a clock for every time you're showing the way the wrong way
And I, I guess it doesn't matter as long as I just keep going
Step by step

Maybe I really did hit my lowest
Who am I to judge my existence splattered amongst waves
So I lay comfortably in the boiling water
waiting for the tea, with my stick to turn the waters around

Girls age fast to keep the pace with your ignorance
And who can blame them for that?
All I have to do is grow up
Peeling the skin that has offended the gods

Saturday, December 10, 2016

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Disease of femininity.

Sadly, sexism exists. The thing is that it exists among two genders and it's often overlooked. Many of women are as sexist as men and their hands are as dirty. Why you might ask, why do they feel the need to take your space in life and fill it with theirs? What kind of low emotion? What does make them feel the need to suffocate you? What part of themselves do they see in you that they feel the need to destroy it to make men like them more? Keep your corsets to yourself. Is femininity a disease that some of us suffer from? Like a leprosy but worse?
My rights don't strip you of yours. 
My space doesn't limit yours. 
My life is not threatening to yours.
I have nothing to do with you or with your problems.
Leave me alone.
I'm sitting in my armchair of life proudly. 
What are you going to do now?
There's always a guy that can find a place for you.

My thing

I was eating chocolate and you were sniffing cocaine
And one of us was as high as it can be
Your good is tainted with your old bad
But I'm the one shedding skin
And you're voting for the right
to keep on catching your own tail

Come on, let's have a bath
I'll add rosemary
I'm supposed to be born in a month

I looked in the sky, it was full of friends
This time I'm ready to cut off my leg
if it stops me from flying
I was just 11 at the time
So you're still doing it but with a taint of shame

Come on, let's have a bath
I'll add rosemary
I'm supposed to be born in a month

It was a glorious moment
But you came to me crying
And what you did to me is now my thing
So they say

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Back off

You're coming to me each night
Taking it away and giving it to him
But no one has ever fed his hunger
Look you're making him sick

Shortening me by my legs by my head
Eating me alive like I'm a piece of earth
But she's always running underneath your feet
Just look

I saw him once or twice, I guess it was just a phase
The world was weighing down on me
So I stayed awake when you were getting sleepy
Trying to turn it into a place that is just a little bit safer for me

When you're coming back, you're not coming to me
And I'm trying to bleed out what you have left in me
Are you in for the fireworks or just for the corpse?

There, I was it, now back off

There, I did it, now back off

There, I said it, now back off.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Take them to the sun

You went so deeply into me
Only my elements remembered their names
Asking you what you are doing here
Did you know?
I'm guessing it could've been anyone
I'm waiting for the day I'll see
You went so deeply into me
and now you're calling it a mistake
Lo siento for the blood

Now lemme start acting like it's the last thing that I want

Only my elements recognized themselves
I'd been saving them for tomorrow
For a ride on one of my feet
I look in the mirror and ask myself if anything of me is anything like me
It's like I'm a part of the truth that's why you want to uproot me
You take turns changing the length of my leash
Drying my bones and then I take them to the sun

I've been building it, brick by brick
You've been taking them out,
To live life in your fortress of ignorance
surprised that on some nights I disappear
Then you reassure me that I don't what you mean
And it looks like I don't

All my elements were foreign to you
Then you started to scream
My blood still stinks like fear 



Sunday, November 27, 2016

Love is the answer

They say love is the answer but it's nowhere to be found
They say love is the answer but I haven't seen it in a while
They say love can solve everything and it's gonna bring me back
So bring me back
They say love is the answer, life was longer when you were around

They say love is the answer
But all I hear is their talk
They said love is the answer
And then they granted me one wish
They said love is the answer
But she was faster
Already waiting on a bed made of gold

It's all good
My heart is made of leaves and waiting


Saturday, November 26, 2016

Crazy archetype

Crazy means different. Crazy means living differently than men and misogynist women want you to. Crazy means that you react negatively to the pressure they want to put on you. Crazy means that it's not all games to you and they've taken it too far. Crazy means that it's all dead serious and you're not fun. Crazy means that they went too far thinking you girls are all the same.
Crazy means that you think differently. Crazy means that androgynous people are born despite of the fact that patriarchy sees all women as good to fuck. Crazy means that you have to be good with emotions, it has to be your forte, let me destroy your logic to prove you wrong. Oooh, you're not the master of emotions, sorry, you're crazy now. Thanks to me and patriarchy dot com. Crazy means they they come after what's most intimate to you to make you crazy. Because it turns out that you didnt want any of it. And then they encourage to make it more personal, to make it more intimate but then it breaks you and makes you crazy. You're a serious person. Your observations? Ability to put yourself in the shoes of other? It has to be about you personally. because you see, I've done so many bad things to girls like you that I need to take your intimacy out of you to feel something. We're all psychopaths deep inside. I know it's completely unnecessary but why not make it more tragic? You know, let's act like you have some other personality down there. You'll be sorry that you don't. Let's hit you till you break. There has to be a scar on every bone, lemme show you what I can do with my dick, just wait. Our guilt is still running down the drain. We'll put handcuffs on your life and you're going to live it the way we want. We're going to make people scared of you so they'll doubt your every move... I know girls like you. It's gonna be fun. There has to be something deep inside... oh... it's your stomach. oh well. We'd expected you to be someone completely different. Goodbye.

Better shirt

So she picked for you better shoes and a better shirt
Now you're wearing them proudly
To forget about me
So you got a steady job
Working from nine to five
Then you're taking her for a dinner and a movie
Like that's everything that could be

And I'm thrift shopping
For love on the streets
And I'm still hoping
To set myself free
Do you remember that
There was nothing certain
When you were with me

So you're finally who you are,
Is that who you are?
So you have everything that you wanted
Is it all?
But do you remember
That there was nothing certain
When you were with me

She picked for you better shoes and a better shirt
And I'm thrift shopping for love on the streets 


Monday, November 21, 2016

...

Self-destruction turns into construction or points of stillness
Equations of equilibrium, positions of balance
A bit of violence in my cup

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Life of charcoal

My dead limbs spread all over the floor
I flew away for just one night
I kept drawing it inside of my thighs
Hoping to keep you away
Now you're pouring life into me
Or I'm pouring it myself 
That lie you told slipped all over my house

I'm flashing my bones to show you
I'm still here
Demons are singing my name
I'm flashing my bones to show you
I'm still here
Demons are signing my name
And I'm setting up a choir

It's just another, just another day in the life of charcoal

Your hunger made me imbalanced
Then it broke my heart
We're living in a land
Where we believe in free will
But you're dancing on my testament
And I'm plastering my walls
It was really cute, like a raped unicorn
You were pretending to wear my name
Then I noticed your stone hanging around my neck

I'm flashing my bones to show you
I'm still here
Demons are singing my name
I'm flashing my bones to show you
I'm still here
Demons are signing my name
And I'm setting up a choir

It's just another, just another day in the life of charcoal


Thursday, November 17, 2016

One step too low

You have never cut this cord have you
You're still trying to find out who plays it best
It's always you, we're stumbling upon you
When you're taking what's mine
It's still about you
Right?

And It's just one step too low

It was fine, I had my umbrella
Using it each night when something slipped
Now I'm mostly on my knees praying
While you're listening through the wall
thinking I'm talking about you

And it's just one step too low

I guess it was my business
but then you sold it too cheaply
To the strangers passing by
Munching on the sacred part
I have buried in me so deeply
You have a sweet tooth
but you took it too far

And it's just one step too low

I'm lost I'm finding definitions
For your borrowed power
And the hole in me
You always cut to the core
But this time you have cut mine

And it's just one step too low 


Saturday, November 12, 2016

Amidst the waves

What have you done to me?
Now I'm choking while I speak
I'm finding my way out the hole you dug
Explosions took me to a foreign place
And I'm still amidst the waves

What have you done to me?
Now I'm choking while I speak

They say it's always your fault so I'm grabbing my skin
To let my dog bark
They say it's always your fault so I'm grabbing my skin
To let my dog bark
Now I'm broken and I'm soft and I'm exactly the way you like
And I'm finding my way out

All the angels locked out of heaven are dancing
And we're dancing thanks to all the angels locked out of heaven
So please excuse me for staying asleep through one more night

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Entitled

It's came too early to me, like a puddle under the table, grief that you poured into me or attribution that is foreign. Once more you're putting a stick into me then you're grinding my insides. Sometimes I hold my stomach, sometimes i hold my intenstines and sometimes I think that its too much of a price for a misunderstanding.

You're adding a tone to my voice and I wonder if I'm able to understand what I'm saying. You're saying or we're saying.
There was brightness in one of my limbs but then the pain started growing like a tumor. We don't know each other and I still think it's too much of a price for what you're trying to make me bear.

You're heading for a run, then for a cleanse in my waters; just to be able to form full statements about me but I still think it's too much of a price for this unwanted connection.

Monday, October 10, 2016

Rainbow current


The humiliation in my elbows is attaching itself to a rainbow current
Then it flushes my head

Your foot is trying to find dry land on my forehead

Lack in my hair
Drenched in the milk from your nails
I was screaming or I was told that I was
I was the void or I was told that I was

You'd put into an archetype or two in my rucksack
I crushed on the shore

Writing on a sticky note I remind myself of who I was yesterday

My drawers are still misplaced
But that's where I put my fishbowl


Sunday, October 9, 2016

How come I know that?

(...)

How come I know that?
How come you taught me that?
How to dim my colors when you're all wrong,
How to hold my breath under the water for too long

You threw my heart under my bed
And now I'm trying to fish it out from everything that you have said

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Misattribution

I'm a bag of bones
and you're making a hole
So I could change my course
Lighter with deprivation

I'm a bag of bones
But now you're adding weight
So I could starve to death
On this starry night

I'm a bag of bones
Yet you're taking what's mine
I'm holding the wall
So all these things won't move too fast

You take saints, martyrs from my head; and misattribution
One bead, then another
And I'm... I'm figure scating

Friday, September 30, 2016

Cacophemism

I will open your hands to the blow of soot
Foam around
And the pejorative of illumination

I am changing mistakes with your consciousness
The number of exaltation

Soot off the hands
Ascribes oceans to winds

I am distorting the image of reality
Darkness is pejorative
Because it does not expect illumination

It was a line

It was a line that was holding me
Something between me and you
Part of the tuned out distance
That was saying this is enough

It was a line that was holding me
My back, and the bumping elevator
That you came to cut
as a sign of your good will

It was a line that was holding me
And it was a line that you put in me
Running through my brain
Tipping the notes

It was a line that was holding me
It is the shame that you brought before me

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Mow the lawn

I'm floating right below the water
And you are trimming my feet and my head
So it'd be easier for me to collapse
Like you'd mow the lawn every week

I was 5 and in your bed and mostly scared
They'd been trimming my arms and my voice
As I was floating underneath the water

They want me to use my brutalized limbs then march
But I'm floating right below the water, most of the time

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Dead beat

All you ever surround yourself with are lies
And that bullet shot twice once across my heart
Then once across my head, putting me on the verge
Always pulling me closer to the edge

You are stealing my time away
As I'm freeing my foot
And now I'm lying on the sidewalk again
It's just a tiny bit of hope
A leg that strayed
I come up then let it go

You went after my soft underbelly
After the softness of my tissues
Was it a joke to you?
Because I'm pretty sure
You were killing me

I still dance to the rhythm of that dead beat
I still dance to the rhythm of that dead beat
I still dance to the rhythm of that dead beat
I still dance to the rhythm of that dead beat
I still dance to the rhythm of that dead beat
I still dance to the rhythm of that dead beat
I still dance to the rhythm of that dead beat

There was a fountain I was walking by
Why did you pretend to walk with me?
I'm still rising from the ashes of what you'd left there for me

But I still dance to the rhythm of that dead beat

There was a girl I believed in
I hope she's real
God, let her be real

Sunday, September 4, 2016

...

I'm listening to you and oceans are flowing through me
Waves are washing your words till detailed causes emerge
And precision tears my insides

But as who I am starts glaring through my face
I let go of the slides

I'm learning to speak as I'm finding the answers
On the shore I'm arranging the words: blue, pink, white

Thursday, September 1, 2016

I'll pass this time

My dog was watching me as I was lying on the floor
waiting for the storm to pass 
Counting respect like straws in my cup

You're coming a bit too close and I'm starting to get sick

Sometimes I speak too much sometimes I wonder if it's worth it
Each of my breaths slows down the emptiness around me

I'll pass this time

You're coming a bit too close and it's pulling my eyes out of my sockets
You're making me play something not worth it

I'll pass this time

Friday, August 19, 2016

...

All nows are just another chapters
Swirling around my body
So let me touch my explosive skin
To form a new point of reference

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Draft

Beaten, bouncing back
My unfaithful heart
Temporary absence
God, help me or forgive me

It's like I sit on a bench and see everything
In the air between us
It's like I sit on a bench to remind myself
Of everything I let go of

My unfaithful heart,
Beaten, bouncing back
Finding its rhythm
God, help me or forgive me

I'm being here so tightly
Pressing my cheek up against the glass
Don't push too hard
Or else it's going to tear my face apart

I'm being here so tightly
And they're pressing my face up against the glass
I'm praying it won't break
Don't push too hard

I'm pulling the roots out
Simply letting them die
The ones that are still holding me here
God, help me or forgive me

Sometimes it dies in you, sometimes it dies in me
This time, just let go of me

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Syncopated in misunderstanding

Every color that I had in me
Has fallen to my feet

My ununited hands
Intervowen with your doubts

Your words were moving through me
as if they were mute hands of the clock

2014

Blood on your hands

So, you started to think
Just sometimes, still not too often
Just some simple thoughts
On some nights you wonder
How to drag me down, drag me down

You saw me shining so brightly,
Above the firmament and just below the ocean
Then you started to suffocate me
My tired bone you played on
So many times, so many times

I need to breathe for just one minute
For a moment or infinity
I won't let you play your funeral tune
I need to solve this puzzle to find out
Who I am behind what you dragged down

What they did to you is what you accused me of
I ask for space but you throw me in the mud
Put different names on my forehead then shoot
You play wars with the innocent
Anyone you can drag down, drag down...

I stir the oceans and shake the skies
Put my screaming on the floor
Close the door, and leave through the window
As far as I'm concerned
You still have the blood on your hands

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

A bucket of transparency

You were there and I was the hurt one
You almost got used to it
Like it was expected of me
A circle or another ride on a carousel
A bucket of transparency

Collapsing on my knees
I add a brick trusting I'll find it here later
But you're asking me to keep putting it there everyday
I feel the ground melting in my hands
And for one moment it's mine.

It almost like it's meaningless now
I reached the sky a thousand times
But it's almost like it's meaningless now
I put my fingers in the clouds above me
But it's almost like it's meaningless now
I'm praying they won't run too fast
So it won't be meaningless this time

You're putting up barriers in my mind
Always talking to me, never letting me rest
All the time

Now you're walking on the remnants of my body
I'm asking you to be gentle
You're preparing a seat for me
But I'm still searching for the one that you took
You take away everything from me,
Hoping I'll nest in this dump where you put me
But there are trains still waiting for me.

Because I already reached the sky a thousand times...

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Points, endings and immortality.

Writing songs without beginning
that lie within my silent entrails
About this never ending process
black and white

Decreased myselves, as seen in others

Songs that whisper softly
about potency
in the midst of my resignation

Semi-transparent visions I almost gave up

Points, endings and immortality
all drifting on my lake