Friday, March 31, 2017

Like 2 and 2

I'm feeling so disturbed
You were exemplary like 2 and 2
Like my collection of stamps
Like the content of my bookshelf

Forgive me on thursdays
But my wantings were out of tune
And I was caught dreaming
Tickling the surface underneath

I'm still grateful for your time
But they dissolved me in your warmth
I was rising right above the ceiling
Throwing crumbles I'm still hoping to find

Accept my most sincere apologies
You were perfect like my tomorrows
Like the consideration of my dog
Looking over me

Everything was screaming in me then
I missed a few daytimes
I'm so upset
Love has marked my forehead 

Monday, March 27, 2017

Peanut butter and jelly

You still remember how the sweetness of my heart made it cheaper
Maybe you didn't deserve any better

Baby now you're looking so thin
So let me feed you with a spoon
I have jelly and peanut butter
Let me learn where to place my legs

Baby now you're looking so thin
Let me feed you with a spoon
With times when I was truer to myself
You still remember how concrete my fear was 

In the summer I'll keep on bringing to you my best cherries
Here where we are it's always freezing
So I'll go and find flowers on the field

You participate in life more often
So I put on my wings to remind you of the innocence we once shared 
Let me feed you with cherries

I couldn't get any tinier underneath this blanket
Maybe it's wrong, this time I left them at the door 
You ask me questions, you're yellow and pink
Now they come to me and ask me how silly I can get
None of that was real 
But I write stories too
We learned our lines through reading
Let me open the window
And check if my rays are in sync


Sunday, March 26, 2017

.

The thing is
I know how to say no in many languages
And it sounds similar in all of them

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Underneath your pillow

You've been hiding from me long enough
Now I'm willing to take with me
Anyone willing to go after you
To close the hate I have for you in a cup
Sweetened with my no
To polish my tableware clean

Now I'm waiting for you to puke
Everything that you took
In order to show me that you care
You sleep with my skull
Underneath your pillow
Everything's funny till you're the one crying

All my hate in a cup
Sweetened with my no
Now polish them clean
Tick tock

Your perversion burnt my skin
And now I'm coming for you
And I'm coming for you slowly
My fire is cold

All my hate in a cup
Sweetened with my no
Now polish them clean
Tick tock

At this point I'm willing to pray to any God
Willing to take from you what you have stolen from me
Let me burn a sacrifice
That sickens your mind
Listen to my voice
Tick tock

We brought ghosts of the past into our playground
And now in order to show me that you care
You sleep with my skull underneath your pillow
But everything's funny till you're the one crying

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

In the corner

Mama told me that I shouldn't be doing it
So I'm standing in the corner to think it through
Mama told me that it's not for me
So I'm letting go of my will to live,
In the corner I'm standing still

I was above it, flying with the doves
Mama told me that perhaps I'm not
So I'm standing in the corner
because honestly why not

In the corner I'm losing things
Through the window my brain flies
You are waiting for the last train
Boy it's easier to catch me now
You speak softly hoping I'll like it
In the corner there's a chance I will

Mama told me I was just playing,
Pretending like I always do
But it doesnt matter what they're saying
Now that my brain is fried
In the corner I'm growing ill

Monday, March 13, 2017

P-D

I love you so let me make a mistake
Deliberately till you show me that I've indeed switched my pose
Listen, I've always been better than all of them
So you won't tempt me to play by their rules

I love you so they've came and told me to change my path
They were lying to me until I ran out of hope
Now it's yes or no
It's zero or none

Let them infantilze me and let me play a saint
Let me take a wrong turn
Maybe you made this decision for me while I was safe in my sleep
We're all waiting for the moment we die
Till we leave our clothes and become who we are
So hit me with your misunderstanding
Retard my bones
Let me put my shirt back on

You've had it all thought out
All I needed was to play my part

The other day I was the most humane in this sexist black hole
I was growing by the leaf
Threading carefully
They told me that the old family curse is still waiting to get me

I love you so let me make a mistake
They told me I can make it
only if I save all of them first

I was a good girl
And then I was a good boy
By your side
I love you so let me make a mistake

I might say sorry 1000 times, let me start

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

On an arrow

We're all friends
Till out of necessity
We become enemies

You were 4 and I was 6
I was 8 and you were 6
I was 15 and you were 16

We're all friends
Till out of necessity
We become enemies 

Girls came
From both sides
I hung the love on an arrow
You were 4 and I was 6

Tomorrow I'll be better
Leave your hands clinging to my feet
Leave this skin in the sand
Leave this hell raising from morning till night

I'll hang the truth on an arrow
And you'll plait haloes 
Around my head
In the corners
It's my own shadow
So let me stand straight
Learn a thing or two about letting go